a confession of a budak hingusan

a dream has been bugging me about my self. that dream made me wonder that i should change my self. i should try to change who i am just to satisfy others. and thaat really turned me off today.

yes im loud. yes im big. yes im obnoxious. yes i love to laugh oout loud. so what is the fricking problem? no, im not a choosy brat. no, im not hard to work wit. no, im not that hateful. no im not vengeful. yes, i like to spend but thats mine to spend and not urs. and i know when to control and when to let it all out. i know my limits. yes i admit i have spoken a few harsh words now and then. but who gives a fuck?! perfection is nothing.

maybe this is just me. maybe it is just me trying to shout out loud, " hey motherfuckers im fucking serabut now so bugg the fuck off!" hahahhaa. trust me doing it in a blog doesnt work that much compared to shouting out loud in  reality but hey its surely much more safer. it is me. i know i have flaws. but i cant help it im a human.its in my nature to fuck up sometimes.

but its a shame for me not to appreciate my self. although im not the best looking around. although im not the toughest around and maybe im not the smartest around. i am also the one have lots to say about the littlest things thats happening(criticzeer). but i should also believe that i am the one who have al the things that the others dont. for those stuff ill just keep it to myself. because its for me to think and for me to appreciate.

mocassociation

have you ever had a feeling of not knowing what to do and yet u have done each and everything that is needed. u have done all the stuff that u thought u were supposed to do and yet you still have that urge to do that one thing that is needed to be taken care of. its a drag i know but sometimes life can be a drag.

hahhaa

enough said bout that lets get to the serious matter. staying in egypt i have to say that there is an obvious competition of association trying to recruit new members by buying them thru foods, buying them thru meetings and religous activities. not that i am trying to say anything but the way they are trying to convey themselves doesnt really match up with the motive of their association in the first place. take for example these two association, lets call them persatuan a (PA) and the other as persatuan b (PB). PA is trying to group as many as medical students as possible to be the whole great assoc in the region meanwhie PB is trying to fight for islam. not that im commenting but the way they are competing to recruit new members are very unorthodox, they kept on saying harsh remarks at each other and keep on throwing as many programmes as possible. and the programmes they are holding is not that beneficial nor that interesting. now how do you suppose people to be interested in what ur trying to do when you are not really considering about the target audience when in fact what ure trying so hard to focus on the the other party and trying to topple what they had done.

for me who ever you are what ever assoc u enter it must be for the right reasons. not to say these forms of groups are wrong and bad. but its what u believe and what u seek personally is what really matters. if ur trying to enter an assoc just for the sake of belonging to a group then u better not. its better for u to join the groups on facebook if thats what u really want. because in the end those assoc will reflect on who u are. yeah its nice to belong somewhere but when u belong to an assoc that enters someone's house without any permission, trying so hard to persuade people to join and accept the rules that u made. then its a shame on you and shame on them. think hard and think smart.

p/s: this entry i based on my observation and my logical thinking. it wasnt intended to any individual specifically. i hope no one gets hurt because of this.